Struggles of the Past, Present and Future
by InsertACreativeNameHere
Summary: AU. The war with the monster that was Drago Bludvist is over, but many stories are still left untold. A series of short stories concerning the lives of the Barbaric Archipelago's most famous Vikings in their various stages of life – from childhood, through the awkward teen years, all the way to adulthood. A companion to Inner Struggles. (Changing genres and ratings)
1. Dragon Master's Coming

**Hello peoples!**

 **If you haven't read Inner Struggles yet, I** _ **strongly**_ **advise you do. Otherwise things might not make sense. If you have, enjoy! :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon – books, movies, nor TV series.**

 **Huge thanks to** **residentmotherhen** **for, once again, helping me with this. :)**

 **Dragon Master's coming.**

 **Genre:** _Adventure, Hurt/Comfort_

 **Rating:** _K+ for some of the language used_

 **Before you read I'd like you to know that** **music is a very important factor when it comes to my writing. The whole universe of 'Inner Struggles' was inspired by one piece of HTYD 2 soundtrack by the amazing John Powell – 'Hiccup the Chief/Drago's coming' (or just 'Drago's coming', it depends on the version). As soon as I heard it, an image started to form in my head. It looked something like this:**

 _[Hiccup the Chief]_

It was unusually warm on Berk, the heat becoming slightly unbearable for some - especially for the ones in the forge. Most of the villagers were enjoying the good weather by taking some time off. A group of teens was standing a few feet away from the blacksmith's shop. The two boys and a girl were laughing at something another male in the group said. A newly married couple was walking down the street hand in hand. Their soft smiles looked almost abstract in the comparison to the sharp weapons tied to their backs. Since the dragon raids had ended people seemed... happier. Even the occasional 'visits' from the Dragon Riders did not discourage them. It seemed peaceful, inviting. 

"Hiccup, get yer scrawny ass working! The sword ain't gonna sharpen itself." A young boy of seventeen years snapped from his thoughts, dropping the said weapon in the process. He cursed under his breath and kneeled to grab the object from the ground. But, as he tried to stand up, he slammed his head under the corner of the table. 

"Shit!" The man cursed again. An older, blond Viking came in. 

"Language." He sent Hiccup a pointed look and swatted the lanky teen on the back of his head. 

"Sure, Gobber. Because you never curse." The teen rolled his eyes as he set the sword back onto the table. 

"Oy! Don't ye get smart with me Hiccup! I'm older than ye if ye haven't noticed," Gobber chided, waving his arm, or rather what was left of it, around. "Now get that sword done. Sven wants it before náttmál." The older Viking finished by patting the teen's back with his real hand. Hiccup sighed as he began pumping the bellows to heat the forge, wincing as another stifling heat wave hit him. Bringing his arm up to wipe away the droplets of sweat beading on his forehead, he groaned. Gods, how he wished he could just go the cove and swim in that pond. He bet the water was so cold... 

"... is Hiccup." The seventeen-year old's head whipped upwards as he heard his name followed by some laughs. It came from the group of teens. One of the girls looked towards the scrawny boy in the forge and as she noticed him looking their way, pressed a hand to her mouth and snorted. Hiccup's heart hammered in his chest as he tore his gaze away. Whatever they said, he was pretty sure that it wasn't to praise him. He shut his eyes for a second. He should be used to that by now, Thor dammit. For the most part he didn't care that much anymore, but sometimes... sometimes it was hard to pretend that it was fine, normal. The lanky teen tuned out the laughter and focused on the task at hand. 

Hiccup finished the sword for Sven quicker than he thought and even Gobber seemed surprised. Sven looked fairly satisfied with the weapon, even if some distrust was evident on his face when Hiccup handed it to him. The teen clenched his fists and breathed deeply through his nose to calm himself. Sure, he just spent hours to make that sword the best he could, but please, look at it as if you were expecting it to explode in your hands. Apparently eventually deeming it satisfactory, the Viking finally paid Gobber for the weapon left, and Hiccup was left in the forge without even a 'thank you'. Not that he expected one anyway. He approached Gobber with his hand awkwardly going to his neck. 

"Hey, eh, Gobber. Since I, ah, already did the sword, maybe I could get the rest of the day free?" His voice came out higher than he wanted and Hiccup cursed himself. The blacksmith raised his bushy eyebrow and looked at the sky, gauging the time. He turned his gaze back to the teen's hopeful face and sighed. 

"Alright, fine." Hiccup smiled, his uneven teeth showing. "Just don't do anything crazy, aye?" The auburn-haired teen took off his apron and hung it on the wall. 

"I won't." 

"Any special plans then? Maybe a lady of some sorts?" Gobber wiggled his eyebrow at the teen and Hiccup felt a blush creeping up on his face. 

"Wha-? No, no. Just, eh, needed to go for a walk. In the forest. To, you know, think a little. Yep." He turned around quickly- and almost walked into the forge's door. "Right, um. Thanks Gobber." The said Viking chuckled at the awkward, gangly teen and shook his head in amusement. 

As he exited the forge, Hiccup soon collapsed wearily against a wall of one of the houses, letting out a tired sigh and closing his eyes for a second to gather his thoughts. Glancing quickly around, making sure no one was around to see this, the boy took out a small pendant from his pocket. He turned it in his fingers before clenching it in a fist. 

Toothless was waiting counting on him. And so were the other Riders. 

* * *

_[Drago's coming]_

A black shadow swept across the water. 

The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself flew swiftly closer to the appointed destination. Following closely behind him were three other dragons with humans on their backs. The riders, clad in black armor, wore pieces of material tied over their faces in order to cover their mouths and noses. Only their leader had a mask covering his whole face. The Night Fury flapped his wings violently as the target came into view. The village was asleep and unaware of what would happen soon. The torches were alit but there were no guards looking out for dangers coming from air. Small houses dusted the small island and a training arena stood out in the moonlight. The Dragon Master scanned his surroundings with his deep, piercing eyes. It was now or never. As he turned to his companions, he swallowed. 

"What's the plan, boss?" Heavily accented voice broke him out of his reverie. Sergius, his closest friend there, was observing him from the corner of his eye. 

"Since I'm here, me and Sergius will go for the training arena. Oydis and Balder – distract the village." The others nodded wordlessly, a silent agreement between them. 

A Deadly Nadder and a Monstrous Nightmare flew away from the other two dragons and headed for the center of the small Viking village. The Dragon Master led the Night Fury towards the forest on the side of the arena and the other dragon, a Shovelhelm, and his Rider followed after them. An explosion could be heard from the distance and a terrified scream followed not long after. The Dragon Maser shut his eyes tightly to regain his focus. He was doing the right thing, wasn't he? There was no time to think about it now; it was too late for that. Another explosion in the village could be heard, certainly providing ample distraction. 

Good. Everything according to plan so far. 

The Night Fury and the Shovelhelm landed in the forest. They were just a few feet away from the ring, the actual focus of the attack. No; it was not an attack, he had to remind himself. It was a rescue mission. They did not kill and they did not harm – they saved from enslavement and pain. His companion dismounted their aquamarine dragon and walked up closer to the edge of the thick woods. He turned around and held up two fingers. 

Two guards. Easy job. 

The Dragon Master took out an odd cylinder from a pocket his trousers, walking over to his friend and crouching low to the ground. Checking first that no one had seen them, he rolled the tube towards the entrance of the arena. A small streak of blue gas started to evaporate from it and the guards let out a surprised yelp. They kicked the tube further away from them but it was too late - the gas worked quickly, and had already taken its effect on them. The taller of the two, a blond, middle-aged man, swayed to the sides as he walked up to his workmate who had keeled over onto the hard ground. He didn't last long before he too tumbled to the ground, bringing his struggling friend down the rest of the way with him. Another explosion could be heard from the village. After waiting some time to make sure that the guards were indeed knocked out, the two Riders exited their hiding spots. 

The older Dragon Rider quickly found the keys hanging off one of the guards' neck and threw them to the Dragon Master. With the gate of the training arena opening without much issue, the two males proceeded to the cages that surrounded the inside of the ring. Cage by cage was opened cautiously; the prisoners were at times aggressive at the sudden 'rescue'. The Dragon Master and his companion went to calm the now unchained and freed creatures. In a very short time that they were given, the Riders talked to the former prisoners - they soothed their pain and gave them comfort they needed - all in the accompaniment of another explosions and shouts coming from the distance. Earning trust was a process that needed time, but both parties realized they didn't have that luxury. 

With a gust of the wind and a flop of wings, they were gone. Finally free. For how long, no one knew. 

With the last creature gone from the cages, the Dragon Master felt relief flood his body for a short moment. But their job was not done just yet. As they exited the training arena to once again disappear into the forest and, later, into the dark, night sky, something caught the younger man's attention. The Dragon Master cocked his head to the side and stopped by a ragged sheet of parchment hanging off one of the trees. 

It was an arrest warrant. For him. 

The picture was quite well done, he had to admit. It showed a man clad completely in dark amour and a mask that resembled the dreaded Night Fury. At least to his knowledge it resembled that specific dragon- not a single villager, he realized, knew what the feared creature actually looked like. The price for his head was quite high and the man couldn't quite tell how he felt about that. He brought a shaking hand to the sheet of paper. It _was_ him. It was _him_. 

"There he is!" A shout not so far away brought him back to reality. His head jerked around to see a dozen of men rushing his way. Their faces held nothing but hatred for the young man. The Dragon Master's eyes flickered once again to the arrest warrant. A roar sounded to his right. The aquamarine Shovelhelm flew into the sky and the Night Fury ran out of the forest and towards the cliff that ended just few feet away from where the man stood. He quickly plucked the piece of paper from the tree and shoved it into one of his pockets. He ran to the cliff and just as the Night Fury jumped into the air, the Dragon Master latched onto his dragon's paws. Some shifting and maneuvering later, he found himself back in the saddle. The furious villagers raised their bows and fired in an attempt to shoot them down, but to no avail. 

"Hey, you all right?" a deep and heavily accented voice asked from the left. The Dragon Master looked ahead and tightened his grip on the reins. 

"Yes." _No_. "I'm... I'm fine." A shriek rung throughout the dark sky signaling the return of the other two Riders. 

"We destroyed some of theirs defense systems, but that's it," the young woman on the red Deadly Nadder said to no one in particular. The Night Fury Rider nodded to himself. Good, that was the idea. No one died, no one was hurt. It was a rescue mission. His hand involuntarily went to the crinkled piece of parchment that was hidden in his pocket. He hesitantly brought it out and was once again met with the arrest warrant. He knew that most people resented him for what he did but... but it had never really hit him that he was a criminal. At least in their eyes. They were scared of him, of what he did, and what he represented. He turned his head to see the village getting smaller and smaller as the powerful dragon flew away from it. The Dragon Master shoved the warrant back into the pocket. He was doing the right thing. 

Wasn't he? 

**A/N:**

 **And then it just got out hand a bit (as in over 100 000 words out of hand). The original idea of Inner Struggles were actually struggles of Hiccup. Trying to do what he thinks as right, at the same time questioning who he is and what he is doing. It's quite short, I know, but the music is not that long either. I have absolutely no idea if it fits it (I mean, everybody reads at a different pace) but I hope that I managed to get the feeling of this piece of HTTYD 2 soundtrack.**

 **To make things clear, Hiccup is about seventeen, almost eighteen, here and it takes place about a year before the plot of Inner Struggles. It's** _ **after**_ **Astrid meets him in the forest on Bjargey.**

 **If you have any moment in Hiccup, Astrid's and etc. life that you'd like to see, let me know. :) Fair warning,  
updates are not regular.**

 **Some of the reviews from the Epilogue of Inner Struggles** (from the earliest to the oldest) **:**

 **Guest 1** **:** _I don't know whether that can be considered a sequel but I hope you'd read it anyway. :) And that you_ _ **do**_ _think it's great, or at least enjoyable. ;)_

 **Guest 2** **:** _Thank you so much! It really is_ _ **me**_ _who should be thanking! I'm glad you liked the epilogue so much. More of clumsy, Hiccup-y behaviour from their children is something I want to write surely. If you have any suggestions regarding their kids and such, please let me know! :D_

 **fireicewriter42** **:** _Thanks! :D I'm kind of happy that the ending surprised you and in a good way too. :)_

 **(If I haven't answered your review here it's because I wasn't sure whether you will read the series. From this chapter on, guest reviews will be answered normally.)**

 **Till next time!  
**

 **~InsertACreativeNameHere**


	2. Fine

**Hello people! I'm back! Sort of.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon – books, movies, nor TV series.**

 **Thanks to the amazing** **residentmotherhen** **for helping me out!**

 **Fine**

 **Genre:** _Family, Hurt/Comfort_

 **Rating** _: K+, I believe_

Relief flooded his body as soon as he opened the front door. 

Hiccup swatted off the bits of snow that still clung to his clothes and breathed out, enjoying the warmth of his – _their_ – house. Shaking off the white fluff, Toothless entered the building and sneezed out some of the snow that gotten stuck in his nostrils. The Night Fury quickly plopped onto his favorite shard of ice, curling into a ball and instantly forgetting about the world around him. With a fond smile on his face, Hiccup took off his fur coat and hung it on the nearby hook, kicking the door closed with his right foot. A weird smell hit his nose as he moved away from the entrance, and it didn't take long for him to spot a pot hanging over the fire. He grimaced - Astrid had been going through a cooking phase recently, and to say it wasn't going all that well was an understatement. Just yesterday she attempted to make a stew from all different kinds of ingredients she had found in the house, and that included some of the medical supplies which, honestly, were far from palatable. 

He didn't know why Astrid had suddenly taken it upon herself to learn how to cook. They were fine as it was with Hiccup preparing the meals; they had divided the duties evenly and for the past couple of months it had been working very well. But a week or so ago, Astrid declared that she was going to cook from now on and no amount of coaxing had caused her to change her mind. She was too stubborn for her own good sometimes. 

"You're home." 

Astrid walked out of their bedroom and grinned upon seeing him. Stepping towards him and leaving a quick peck on his cheek, she quickly walked away to take out a bowl and a spoon from the storage, placing it on the table. Hiccup made the mistake of lifting the lid of the pot, trying his very best not to cringe at the smell coming from it. 

"What do you think? Brenna said you'd like it." He inwardly cursed the local baker for giving his wife… _ideas_. He appreciated Astrid trying to cook, he really did, but there was no need for that. Putting on a brave face, he straightened his back and smiled. 

"I'm sure I will." Astrid's smile widened and it made Hiccup feel all the more guilty. He couldn't tell her not to cook if she insisted she wanted to; he just couldn't shoot her down like that. It wasn't like she was unaware of her 'flaws' when it came to cooking. Astrid knew it wasn't her strong point and was grateful that Hiccup even tried what she had made. She confessed that, as much as the food she prepared needed to be worked on, she enjoyed making it and taking her mind off things as she did so. He just didn't have the heart to tell her to stop. 

Swatting away Sharpshot, he took his place by the table. Astrid filled the wooden bowl with the mysterious sludge-looking substance and placed it in front of her husband, plopping herself on the other side. She observed him anxiously as he stared warily at the food. The green flying rat, as Astrid kept calling the Terrible Terror, took a curious sniff of the mysterious substance but grimaced immediately, backing away with a sneeze. The blonde shot a menacing glare his way. 

"It looks… great." Hiccup smiled at her but Astrid figured it was fake. Hopefully the taste would be more suitable for him. She had eaten a bowl of the soup some time ago and it didn't seem so bad... Better than anything else she had made before, anyway. She fiddled with her fingers aimlessly, stomach tight with nerves that didn't necessarily concern the soup as she watched her husband take his first cautious spoonful. He was trying to be brave but his facial expression gave him away as he turned from pale to green-ish almost instantly. His Adam's Apple made weird convulsive motions as he tried to swallow. 

"That bad?" Astrid winced at Hiccup's miserable face. As soon as the words left her mouth, he shook his head violently, a forced smile plastered on his face. 

"It's… fine! Fine." _Muttonhead_ , Astrid decided with a sigh, _and stubborn as a yak too_. "I'm- I'm sure it's just one of those foods you have, have to try, more than once." 

"Right." The blonde deadpanned. Hiccup nodded weakly and shoved another spoon into his mouth. Astrid stood up and, swatting some imaginary dust from her shirt, walked up to the hearth. "So we can have it for dinner tomorrow as well, then?" 

She wasn't facing him but she still couldn't help the smirk when she heard a choked coughing explode from her husband who, by the sound of things, was quite taken aback at the proposition. Astrid stirred the soup again before moving the pot away from the fire. 

"Say," his voice was a bit hoarse as he spoke. He cleared his throat before continuing. "How was the Academy today?" She actually barked a short laugh at that. Moving to stand behind him, Astrid propped her arms on his shoulders, one of her hands playing with his tangled locks. With satisfaction, she saw that the two braids she woven in the morning were still there. 

"Nice change of topic, Babe." Before he could protest, Astrid continued. "It wasn't as busy as the last few days. The weather discouraged the kids, it seemed." The Dragon Training Academy was a fairly new development and had come into existence roughly four weeks ago, two months after she and Hiccup had returned. She had taken up the job of one of the trainers there. Not feeling comfortable enough with teaching the kids how to train a dragon – she gave that privilege to Fishlegs and Dogsbreath – Astrid made sure that the children of Berk knew the basics of self-defense, both on the ground and in the sky. The war may be over and there may be peace for now, but no one knew how long it would last. It was better to be safe than sorry, she told herself. The blonde felt Hiccup shrugging underneath her. 

"They wouldn't be able to do much anyway, too windy for that." Astrid nodded even though Hiccup couldn't see it. She chewed on her lip, stopping herself from pacing around – she had done enough of that before Hiccup came home. The nervousness came back again and she felt slightly nauseous. Hiccup stirred the soup a little before braving another attempt at eating it. Astrid closed her eyes and exhaled, her heartbeat speeding up. 

"I'm pregnant." Hiccup choked on his food instantaneously. Patting him on his back, she cursed herself; it wasn't supposed to look like that. As his coughing subdued, Astrid took a seat beside him – she wanted to see his face. His skin had turned pale and he stared at her with wide eyes. 

"P-pregnant?" He stuttered out, food before him completely forgotten. "With… with a b-baby?" 

"No, with a mug." He gave her an incredulous look, as if he actually _believed_ her, and she sighed. "Of course with a baby." 

"I'm going to… to be a… a d-dad?" He kept his eyes open, not blinking, and Astrid bit the inside of her cheek, heart hammering in her ribcage. 

"Yes, Hiccup." He opened his mouth and closed it almost immediately. She had been thinking about the way to tell him since she found out at the beginning of the week. She had imagined different scenarios – where he was happy about the baby, angry, scared – but she hadn't anticipated a reaction like that. She didn't quite know what to do or say. 

"And… and you're going to be a m-mom?" Gods, she broke him. Somewhere along the conversation, Astrid broke her husband. Hiccup continued to stare at her dumbly. 

Astrid felt her cheeks getting warmer at the word 'mom'. She was going to be a _mom_. Years ago she would have been repulsed by the sole idea of becoming a mother. It wasn't only for the fact that younger Astrid didn't know a thing about children – being left alone to care for her little brother had always scared her – but with the times being as uncertain as they were then, she didn't see it as an option. How many children had died from dragon attacks, starvation, or harsh weather alone? How many children were born… dead, leaving its broken parents with an empty space that could not be filled? She had seen what death of a child did to the Thorston family. The day four-year old Lykke had fallen gravely ill was the beginning of the end. Neither Ruffnut nor her brother mentioned much of their family life after that, not that it could be called a family anyway. The twins were strong, much stronger than she would be in that situation, and handled it with admirable determination. Astrid wasn't sure whether she would be able to survive a tragedy like that. 

Her feelings for the pregnancy were mixed. On one hand the image of her and Hiccup's children running around the house, playing and laughing, was something that filled her heart with an excitement she didn't expect she could feel when thinking about kids. But… then there was fear. That she would not be good enough, strong enough, brave enough. She knew that, as soon as Hiccup got past his insecurities, he would be a great and loving father. Astrid could only watch as he interacted with the town's children with an ease and gentleness she would never be able to muster, at least she had always thought so. And the idea that something could go wrong - she always scolded herself when her thoughts ventured that way. Nothing bad had happened yet; there was no reason to overthink it and stress over things that may not even occur. 

Truth be told, the longer she thought about it, the more she wanted this child and she could only hope that Hiccup would think so too. Her duty as a Viking, and as the wife of the future Chief, was to provide him an heir, but she wasn't sure they were ready for a baby in that exact moment. Not even half a year had passed since the war had ended and they still had a lot of recovering before them; it just didn't seem right. But she wanted to take the risk. She wanted her baby, _their baby_. 

"Yes, Hiccup," she repeated, this time much slower and quieter, feeling exposed and self-conscious under his piercing stare. "Are you… are you happy with-" 

She cut herself off with a grimace. Hiccup's eyebrows lowered as he leaned back in his seat. 

"It's… I- I'm…" His eyes flickered to her stomach for a quick moment before turning away. Astrid, aware of that, hugged herself, covering her belly with her arms. His breathing became rigid and he brought a hand to his collar, tugging at it absently. "I… never…." He sounded short of breath, trying, and failing, to breath normally. His mouth moved silently, unable to form actual words, and Astrid grasped his hand in her own. His eyes stayed unfocused, running over everything and nothing at the same time. 

"Hiccup…" She whispered softly, trying to gain his attention. He hadn't had an attack like this in weeks, something they both were quite proud of. "Hiccup, look at me." 

"I-" Hiccup let out a strained noise before letting out a shuddering breath. He shut his eyes, calming his breathing a little, and Astrid felt sick to her stomach. She caused this…He was doing so well, he felt happy, accepted… 

"I-I'm-m sor-orry." Hiccup rasped out, shakily reaching for her hand when she was about to draw back. 

"What are you… You have nothing to be sorry for." She shot him an incredulous look, speaking as softly and calmingly as she could. Her gaze dropped to the floor. "It's my fault. My mom told my about the tea, but the last few weeks were so busy… I forgot and I- We aren't ready, I know that-" 

"No-o." Hiccup cut her off by tugging at her hand with more strength. "I- I am-m… I-I wan-ant…" He stopped himself to calm his breathing more while Astrid slid closer to him, giving him her body to lean against. She felt him relax a little at the closer proximity. 

"I n-never…" Hiccup started with a slightly steadier voice. Astrid held onto him, pressing her cheek to his arm in silence. She knew from experience that her touch would do more good than any words of reassurance. Astrid felt him release a long breath, his chest shuddering a little as he did so. It was getting better, at least. 

"They… they sa-said-" Hiccup moved his arm backwards, only to bring it back into place a second later, and fell silent. Even though she didn't know what they said, Astrid knew fully well who _they_ were. And _they_ scared her. Not because they posed any real threat to her or Hiccup (if they weren't dead, imprisoned was her next guess), but because, even years later, their wrongdoings still greatly impacted her husband. She could only imagine what they said to him, to this poor, kind-hearted soul. 

None of them said anything or moved for what felt like eternity. Astrid closed her eyes as she held onto him even tighter, wishing she could somehow help him. She felt powerless, completely and utterly _useless_. A warm hand covered hers and she squeezed it, trying to show him her support. 

"I want our baby, Astrid." His voice cracked half-way through the sentence. Astrid's eyes snapped open and she propped herself up to see his face, her heart once again beating way faster than it should. Two streams of dried tears covered his pale cheeks. She hadn't heard him crying… She should have been more attentive, she should have actually said something instead of just hanging off his arm… 

"Hiccup… You don't have to lie just to make me feel better. If you don't want-" 

"But I do." He turned to her, eyes wide. His shaking hands gripped hers and he tugged at them. Astrid chewed on her lip, her eyes on their intertwoven hands before she looked up again with wide eyes as he repeated, "I _do_." 

He was lost, so utterly lost, it was so obvious even when he kept insisting on what he said. And, what was worst, Astrid couldn't help him. She couldn't help him find himself again because she herself felt helpless. He wasn't lying to her, she knew that much, but she felt this sense of insecurity and lostness coming from him. He was scared and he was confused. She was as well, understandably so. 

A soft coo behind her made her jump despite herself. She didn't miss the look Hiccup sent her, yet she couldn't quite understand it. His eyes stayed on her for a second longer, mouth half-open as if to say something, before he turned to the source of the noise, leaving them both in an awkward position – his hands still intertwined with hers and his arm bent outwards. As soon as Hiccup saw Toothless, Astrid felt the hold weaken. She didn't dare to tug Hiccup's hands back towards herself and claim him as her own when they were obviously inching closer and closer towards the Night Fury, yearning for his best friend. 

"Toothless," Hiccup breathed out, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, his shaking hands already by the dragon's snout. The Night Fury warbled, placing his flat head on his rider's lap. Toothless glanced at Astrid, his pupils dilating even more, and she forced as small smile. The dragon redirected his gaze on his best friend. In moments like these, the bond between them was simply impossible to miss. They didn't need words to understand each other, but she still heard Hiccup whispering something to Toothless who listened and responded with noises of his own. 

She felt like an intruder. 

Astrid sat there, not knowing what to do with herself. She felt cold without Hiccup's form as close as it had been a moment ago. He and Toothless were lost in a world of their own and she was left here alone. 

She shivered. 

Glancing at her husband and Toothless, she bit the inside of her cheek. She looked to the side, playing with the edge of her sleeve. What was she even doing? That wasn't like her to behave this way. She knew Hiccup and Toothless were best friends and that their bond was deep, too deep to explain or understand. Toothless was there when Astrid wasn't, when they didn't even know each other. He was by Hiccup's side during his rider's lowest moments. He knew. He understood. The Night Fury was always able to make him feel better. She was glad for that, of course, but... 

She felt rejected. 

The thought struck her harder than she expected: she had never been rejected before. He was lost and hurting, but so was she, and she was longing to be comforted, reassured. A weird, restricting feeling materialized in her stomach and her throat became clogged. Her vision started to get fuzzy as she begun to feel a prickling, stinging sensation around her eyes. No. She was not about to cry. Hoffersons didn't cry, especially over something like that. _He didn't reject you, or the baby,_ she reminded herself over and over again. _He's just lost, he needs time. You're being selfish, Astrid_. Hiccup didn't notice as she stood up and began to walk away. To where? She didn't know, but Astrid felt she couldn't sit there and do nothing for any longer. 

_Wrrrrrruuu…._

Astrid turned at the sound. Toothless slightly lifted his head from Hiccup's lap and observed her curiously, maybe even with concern. Hiccup looked up as well, his face less pale than before, thank the Gods. 

"A-Astrid?" He shot up from his seat so quickly even Toothless made a noise of surprise. "Where… where a-are you going?" 

"I… I just…" Her mouth felt completely dry as she looked at him. He crossed the room to reach her, stopping right in front of her as if he suddenly realized what he was doing. Hiccup's arm hung awkwardly mid-air, his brows knitted in concentration as if trying to figure the whole situation. Or maybe just her. 

"Hiccup, I-" She only managed those two words before she felt a strong push from behind her. Normally well-balanced, Astrid was completely caught off-guard and she yelped, surprised. Her arms came to shield her stomach before she even registered it. She felt herself thrust dangerously forward too quickly to regain her balance again. 

"Toothless!" Hiccup's nasally voice rang to her left, closer than she expected and before she knew it, a pair of familiar, – twig-like, as she liked to call them – arms steadied her. She would have been beyond embarrassed of the clumsiness (Hoffersons were never clumsy, Gods forbid) if it weren't for the fact that, in that exact moment, she couldn't have cared less for her reputation. Hiccup engulfed her in a hug and, as shy and loose as it was, she felt a little bit better. 

It was familiar – she liked familiar. 

"Are you _okay_?" She heard him close to her ear. Astrid was momentarily pulled away from her husband as Hiccup moved to put a shaking hand onto each of her cheeks. His concerned eyes roamed over her face in panic. With a sinking feeling in her stomach she realized that even though Toothless helped him, she once again worsened the situation. 

"I'm fine." She gently put a hand on each of his wrists, trying to reassure him. She pulled his hands away from her cheeks and shyly intertwined them with hers. His eyes didn't leave her face, a frown forming on his own. Astrid looked him in the eyes. "I'm _fine_." 

"B-but what about the baby? You almost fell – something might have happened, right?" Hiccup asked, his voice getting faster and faster with each word. He dropped Astrid's hands, eyes wide-open with realization, and pulled on his hair. "Oh, _Gods_. Something might have happened. And I pulled you so roughly- Does anything hurt? Can you move alright? Wait- don't move. I'm getting Gothi-" 

"Hiccup-" she tried to interject, but Hiccup wasn't listening, too focused on his recent realization. He started pacing around the room. Toothless warbled in concern, his eyes jumping from Astrid to his rider. 

"This is all my fault. The baby isn't even here yet and I screwed up already." Astrid stared at him bewildered, her mouth hanging open. Her husband turned to her. "What if she's hurt? I put too much pressure on your stomach when I held you. What if I crushed her head? Or broke her arm?" 

"Her?" 

"And what about yesterday when we-? Oh Gods, I've been so _careless_! I should have seen it sooner. And- why are you _smiling_ , Astrid? This is serious!" 

"Babe…" Astrid bit her lip to stop herself from smiling, but, Gods, he was just too precious. _He cares_ , Astrid's mind screamed inside her head over and over again. "That's not exactly how it works." 

"Huh?" 

"I'm not made of glass, you know. You _touching_ me isn't going to hurt me. Or _her_." 

"No?" He looked genuinely surprised and she wondered whether he had ever been in contact with a pregnant woman before. Judging by his reaction, she was guessing no. 

"No." She smiled at him and he scratched his chin, processing the new information. Taking advantage of that, Astrid closed the distance between them and hugged his middle, pressing her cheek to his chest. She could hear his steady heartbeat and she hugged him tighter, waiting for him to return the embrace. 

"Are you su-" 

" _Yes_. Now hug me back before I punch you." He chuckled nervously, his voice coming out higher than usual, but soon enough a pair of lanky arms circled around her. 

"See? We're all still alive." Astrid muttered into his chest and felt Hiccup hugging her a bit tighter as he placed his chin on her shoulder. They stayed like that for a moment, in complete silence. 

"I never thought I'd be… that I'd have a chance…" he started quietly. If it weren't for the fact that his mouth was by her ear she wouldn't have heard him. "I'm so sorry, Astrid." 

"Please, don't apologize." Astrid shut her eyes for a second, gathering her thoughts. "I caused this. I made you feel so scared. And I couldn't help you…" 

"It wasn't your fault. It _wasn't_. I-" She heard him exhale before he continued. "I just- I _want_ this baby. And I know that I screwed it all up, and it wasn't supposed to look like this. I'm… I'm an idiot…" 

"You are, sometimes." She shrugged which, given their position, turned out slightly awkward. "But it _is_ scary. _I'm_ scared. And I'd never want you to… to feel pressured about this. Having a baby, I mean. You can be honest with me." 

"I am." Hiccup broke the hug and pulled away to look Astrid in the eyes. "I really am." 

"So…" Hiccup scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. 

"So," Astrid repeated quietly. Hiccup nodded to himself and inhaled. 

"We're having a baby." He whispered to himself. 

"We are." Astrid confirmed slowly, a small, unsure smile beginning to form on both of their faces. 

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all. Hiccup would be fine. They would be fine. 

**A/N:  
**

 **CartoonLoverBecky** **and** **Missmoony82** **– I hope I didn't disappoint. ;) Thank you all for reading. If you have some suggestions or moments that you'd like to see in this AU, let me know. I write down every idea! :D I really hope that the next break between posts won't be as long, but, unfortunately, I can't promise anything.**

 **Guest reviews** (from the earliest to the latest): 

**Guest 1** : _Thank you! I'm really happy to hear that and I hope you will enjoy the new content I'll be making. The 'I love you' oneshot is in the making and I hope I'll manage to finish it soon enough. Thank you for the suggestion! :)_

 **Guest 2** _: Thank you so much! This first oneshot plagued my mind for the longest time and I'm glad that it shed some light as to how Hiccup's life looked like before the plot of Inner Struggles. I want to do some more of those in the future. :) This one wasn't exactly about their children, but I have one that focuses on them as parents coming soon. :D_

 **Till next time (hopefully not that long)!**

 **~InsertACreativeNameHere**


	3. Special

**Hi! :) I'm not dead!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon – books, movies, nor TV series.**

 **As always, huge thanks to** **residentmotherhen** **for proofreading.**

 **Cartoon Lover Becky** **and** **Missmoony82** **– here is some family fluff! Enjoy! :D**

 **Special**

 **Genre:** _Family_

 **Rating:** _K_

"Hiccup!" 

Hiccup shot up in bed, panic gripping his heart, to be met with Astrid's scared blue eyes leaning anxiously over him. Noticing he was finally awake, she stepped back. Hiccup tried to prop himself up but his hand slipped and he hit his head on the bed's frame instead. 

"What's- what's going on?" His eyes darted around frantically, trying to figure out what had caused his wife to wake him up like that. 

"I tried calling you before, you didn't hear me." She tugged at her loose braid. Hiccup quickly threw the covers away and started to blindly search for his prosthetic, his wide eyes never leaving Astrid. She dove in to help him, beginning to attach his leg with shaking hands. Equally shaking hands covered hers and she looked up to see Hiccup eying her questioningly, fear clear on his face. 

"It's… it's Finn." Her voice wavered. 

"What?" He jumped up. Astrid let out a surprised yelp as she lunged to support him before he met the ground, his not-fully attached prosthetic buckling underneath him. 

"Gothi should be here soon. I sent Fishlegs to get her-" 

"What's wrong?" Hiccup asked breathlessly, securing his leg. He straightened his back to look around the room. Finn, though, was nowhere to be seen. "Where is he?" 

"In the other room. Toothless is with him." Hiccup limped towards the door with Astrid in tow. Finn, their five-month old son, was lying contentedly in his crib, sucking on his thumb and observing the Night Fury curiously. Hiccup felt a thousand tons lighter as he saw Finn giggling and not crying or in pain as he feared. Even Toothless didn't seem all that worried and, noticing his rider's presence, smiled, showing off his gums. As the young father reached the crib, he studied his son who only giggled again upon seeing him. Finn seemed… fine. 

Now Hiccup was plain confused. 

"I don't… He seems normal to me, Astrid." The blonde reached her husband's side and leaned on the crib's frame. 

"His eye, Hiccup." She whispered, gesturing to the boy with her head. The man turned to him, squinting in the early morning light to try and see what Astrid had in mind. His eye? What was wrong with his- oh. _Oh_. Hiccup had been so proud upon discovering his newborn son had eyes the exact same shade as Astrid's. Now, though, a part of one of his beautiful sky-blue eyes was…a different color. Half of his eye was a pale green. How? Had his eyes always been like that and they simply hadn't noticed before? He knew he had been busy, but -! No, that was impossible. There was something oddly familiar about this but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. What if- what if it was something serious? Hiccup should have been more aware. And payed more attention, and- 

A father for barely a few months and he had already screwed up. 

Finn was completely unfazed by his parents leaning over the cradle and looking ready to pass out. Babbling happily, he reached for his mama. She stroked his chubby little cheek gently and pecked him on the forehead right as the door of the house burst open. 

"We're here. Don't ye worry!" Gobber exclaimed as he pushed a short old lady inside. She whacked him in the head with her long staff and moved further into the house. 

"Gothi." Hiccup nodded to the woman quickly. "Th-thank you for coming." 

The elder bowed her head and gestured with her hand to come closer. Astrid lifted Finn into her arms and knelt in front of the other woman, gently positioning him so that the elder could see. The boy happily observed the world from his new position, twisting and turning in his mother's arms. 

"And thank ye, Gobber, fer coming as well." The old blacksmith joked. Hiccup and Astrid glared at him in silence and Gothi yanked harshly on his ear. She then spilled some dirt on the floor and started to scribble in it using her staff. Gobber scratched his ear as he read what she wrote. 

"What is she saying?" Astrid asked impatiently as Finn wiggled in her arms. She tried rocking him but it didn't help much. Gobber hummed to himself before looking at her. 

"She says she needs to get a closer look at his pies." _Whack_. "I mean _eyes_." 

"Finn, you need to stay still, baby." Astrid repositioned her son, gently pressing her cheek against the boy's head and bringing him closer to her chest. "I promise you'll be free to do what you want in a moment, okay?" 

Putting aside her trusty staff, Gothi placed her fingers above and under the boy's right eye, stretching it so she could see more. Finn didn't like that and started to fuss more, trying to pull his head away. Hiccup lowered himself to the floor and grasped one of his tiny hands, pressing a quick kiss to his son's crown. 

"Everything is going to be okay, Finn." Hiccup tried to sound reassuring, for he and Astrid as much as his little son, but his voice cracked slightly at the end of the sentence. A breath of hot air gusted over him from behind just as a heavy black shape pushed itself between him and Astrid. Toothless crooned softly, catching the attention of the small child, and calming him down a little in the process. Hiccup's hand traveled to the Night Fury's warm snout almost mechanically, feeling some comfort in the familiar motion. 

The elder hummed and leaned over again to see better. She nodded to herself before pulling away to write something in the dirt. Finn had begun to fuss again despite his mama's soothing assurances, and even the dragon's close and fascinating presence didn't help. 

"Give me him to me," Hiccup offered, seeing his wife struggle. Astrid, reluctantly, placed the unhappy Finn in her husband's arms. The couple stared at the old lady expectantly. 

"Mhm." Gobber hummed as he watched the elder scribble. "Aha." 

" _Gobber_ …" Hiccup pressed. 

"It's not fat." Gothi whacked him on the head and the blacksmith rubbed the sore spot. "Calm down, woman, Thor above! She meant not _fatal_." He turned to the elder and pointed to her. "I was close. No need to get yah skivvies in a twist." 

Gothi huffed, annoyed with the older man. Hiccup and Astrid looked at each other and let out an almost simultaneous sigh of relief. Even Toothless seemed to have relaxed at the words, laying his head in Astrid's lap. Her hand went to pet him as if on its own. 

"Then what is it?" The young father turned to the old woman, bouncing his, now calmer, son. She didn't get to write down her answer because the door burst open for the second time that morning, the wind dispelling the dirt. Toothless immediately raised his head from under Astrid's surprisingly gentle touch, letting out a curious warble. His ears perked up as the unexpected visitor entered the house. 

"Ah'm here!" Stoick the Vast exclaimed as he strode in, his normally, well, stoic presence visibly agitated. Hiccup straightened himself as much as he could which, given the circumstances, wasn't much. 

"D-dad? What are you doing here?" 

"I heard my grandson was sick." He put his meaty hands on his hips and looked at the curious five-month old baby in his son's arms with a touch of confusion. "He ain't looking tha' bad." 

"The laddie's fine, Stoick." Gobber calls to the Chief before pausing. "I think." 

Hiccup saw Astrid narrowing her eyes dangerously at him, daring him to say anything else that would even _suggest_ something was wrong with her Finn. Stoick looked relieved as he calmly greeted the elder and leaned over to see his precious grandson. Finn stopped his ceaseless wiggling as he came almost face to face with the huge Viking. 

"'Ello there, laddie." Stoick gave him a little wiggle of his fingers in greeting. Hiccup bounced Finn a bit more, fearing that his son might be frightened of the close presence of someone so large in comparison. The boy, however, giggled and wasted no time reaching out and pulling on the braids sticking out of his grandfather's fiery red beard. 

"Finn." Hiccup scolded, moving his son further away from Stoick. The Chief barked a laugh as he stood up, one hand massaging his chin. 

"Oy, the lad has a grip!" he exclaimed with pride evident in his voice. "He'll make a fine Viking." 

Something, _something_ , about what Stoick said felt like a blow to the stomach for Hiccup. How long, how often, had he wished to hear similar words about himself? To actually prove himself to this man standing in front of him? It shouldn't matter to him that much anymore, should it? He was on a fairly good terms with his dad now. They weren't that close, and he wasn't sure if they would ever be, but they had something that could be called a relationship. They had gained this respect for each other, one that seemed to have been missing before. His father respected him. His village respected him. He had Astrid, and Toothless, and Finn. 

Yet it still hurt. 

Gothi started to write something in the newly-spread out dirt. Voices of the people talking around him came to him muffled and difficult to understand. Finn, who somehow managed to turn himself sideways, was eying his father gravely with his thumb shoved in his mouth. Hiccup stared at him and the boy's mismatched eyes. Yes, there was something familiar in them. If he could only… He felt a nudge to his left side and Toothless shoved his big head closer to him, his beautiful acid-green eyes turned to him. 

It hit him. 

"I know!" Everyone's heads snapped to him instantly, and even Finn let out a sound of surprise, the slobbered thumb falling out of his mouth. 

"You… know?" Astrid raised her eyebrow at him. He felt a blush forming on his cheeks as his father, Gobber, and even Gothi eyed him skeptically. 

"I, uh," Hiccup cleared his throat and made an attempt at gathering his thoughts. Astrid's weirded-out face wasn't helping either. At all. He swore her eyebrow couldn't have traveled higher if she wanted it to. "I've seen something like this-" he vaguely gestured to the boy in his lap, Finn's eyes curiously following the movements of his father's hands, "before, and, uh, yeah…" 

Gothi nodded with a thoughtful look on her face. Astrid's brows softened immediately and she turned her eyes on their son instead. 

"You have?" She was clearly relieved. "Where?" 

"A Raincutter at the sanctuary. His left eye was violet while the other-" 

"Hiccup." Astrid cut him off before he could finish. "I appreciate the thought but Finn is not a dragon." 

"I know, I noticed, believe it or not," he ignored Astrid rolling her eyes at him, "But maybe… maybe it works the same way." 

"Ye know, the lad may be ought to something," Gobber mused, rubbing his bare chin. Stoick did the same and turned to the short lady. 

"What de ye think, Gothi?" The elder grabbed her staff to write her answer in the dirt on the floor. Everyone, even a babbling Finn, leaned in to see what she wrote. Then, as no one except Gobber could understand what it said, all eyes turned to the blacksmith. 

"She thinks something like that can happen sometimes, both to a human and a dragon." Gobber nodded to himself as he read from the dirt. He clapped his hand and hook together with a smile. "Either way it ain't dangerous. Just makes the laddie special." 

Hiccup smiled lovingly at an unaware Finn who was busy with his thumb again. He heard Astrid muttering a "Thank the gods" under her breath and he found himself enveloped in a tight embrace. Astrid pressed her face to his chest, and he pulled out his arm from under her to hug her back as much as it was possible while still sitting on the floor with a wiggly child in his lap. Finn giggled and pulled on Astrid's hair. She let out a soft laugh despite the slight pain. Suddenly, they were covered in stinky slobber of a one and only Night Fury who did not stint their love, apparently wanting to show them how happy and relieved he was, too. Despite the smell, and his face covered in slobber, Hiccup laughed, and Astrid soon followed, the stress and tension falling away and for some reason finding the whole situation hilarious. 

"I suppose it's time fer us. _Right_ , Gobber?" Stoick nudged his old friend who was stupidly grinning at the trio on the floor, the couple contentedly leaning their foreheads against one another as a giggling Finn screamed excitedly at the sticky strings dripping down from their arms. The little family deserved some time for themselves, and Stoick felt like he was intruding. It was strange seeing Hiccup like this, but Stoick had to remind himself his son was already a grown man, not a helpless boy. He didn't need his old man anymore. He was a husband, and a father, and the truth was that the Chief of Berk couldn't be prouder. In moments like these, he wished Valka could be there to see it, to see their precious little Hiccup all grown up. She would be so proud as well, he was certain. 

"Don't scare mama like that. Ever. Do we have a deal?" Astrid murmured to Finn as she caressed his cheek with a gentleness Stoick didn't know this fiery woman could manage. He jabbed the old blacksmith on the arm to gain his attention. 

"Huh?" Gobber broke out of daze. It took him a moment to realize what Stoick meant. He quickly nodded. "Righty-o." 

Stoick glanced at them one more time before leaving the house with Gobber and Gothi. Something about this scene he just witnessed was oddly satisfying, and the smile stayed on his face for the rest of the day, no matter what happened. 

**A/N:**

 **Remember when I said that the "I love you" one-shot would be coming soon? Yeah, about that… I've been suffering from a writer's block recently, and my whole conception about this one-shot changed, meaning it will take longer than I thought to write it. BUT it will come, don't worry. I have something else I'm working on, as well. :)**

 **I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Guest review(s):**

 **Guest** : _Aww, thank you so much! They're much more comfortable with each other by this one-shot, thankfully. :) I hope you enjoyed some fluffy Hadock family ;)_

 **Till next time!**

 **~InsertACreativeNameHere**


	4. Alternative Ending

[Dekstop version highly adviced] 

[Longer A/N at the bottom] 

**Alternative ending for Inner Struggles**

(takes place after Hiccup killed Drago) 

**Genre** : Tragedy 

**Rating** : K+ 

**Warning** : character death 

* * *

He did his best to ignore the dulling pain in his lower stomach, telling himself it wasn't as serious as it looked. Obnoxiously colorful dragons in the sky impacted with the grey clouds, making his head hurt. Fresh snow was falling, covering the dead bodies with a soft white feather blanket. Despite the howling wind and the icy temperature, Hiccup felt as though he was on fire. His blurry vision made him disoriented and at some point he could not tell the ground and the sky apart – both dull, grey, with people and dragons moving around in no specific direction, at least to him. The world around him spun uncontrollably. 

The sky was falling. 

He gripped the reins tightly, his knuckles turning white. 

Toothless, noticing his rider's obvious distress, took over completely and lead the two of them away from the remnants of the icy tower, Hiccup's mother's sanctuary. His wings cut through the air with huge speed, gaining attention of the ones that he passed. 

All the war machines, people and dragons underneath them turned into a shapeless mass. Hiccup closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see any of it. He felt the air slap him hard in the face and he shakily detached one of his hands from the saddle to cover himself. His helmet laid somewhere by the dead body of Drago Bludvist, gathering snow to cover the blood markings on the expensive leather. One of his eyes opened slightly but as soon he spotted the angry red splashed over his hand, he shut it again, his stomach churning. 

A voice. Calling him. 

"-cup!" He could feel Toothless slowing down for the person to catch up. His hand went to the reins again and his eyes peered over the person next to him. Sergius was observing him, his brows creased in worry. 

"You okay?" He looked like he wanted to ask something else but the wind didn't let him. Hiccup felt his head bobbing up and down on its own accord. He wanted to ask him the same, about how it was going, about… about Astrid, but his tongue seized up. 

"What now? Any ideas?" Sergius shouted over the wind, and Hiccup looked at him with confusion, as if he didn't understand the question at all. His eyes then caught the black alpha. The dark Bewilderbeast's roar resounded over the battlefield, gaining attention of the other dragons. Everything started to fall back into place as though Hiccup had just woken up from a century-long sleep. 

"We need t-to…" He winced as his vision doubled. Shaking it off, he ignored the look Sergius was giving him. "We, uh, we need to drive away the Bewilderbeast." 

"How?" The other rider looked at the humongous dragon skeptically. 

"I-I have an idea." Hiccup said as he patted the Night Fury absently. His eyes shone as they always did when he came up with something, a look of determination crossing his face. 

' _Let's just hope it's going to work.'_

* * *

"Are ye sure?" 

Heather looked up from the thin man in the bed and nodded softly. Stoick the Vast moved in his chair a little, his eyes flickering to the patient. The man was muttering something incomprehensible, and the Chief of Berk swallowed. He fiddled with his hands, not sure what to do with himself. 

"What if-" 

"Sir, with all due respect," Heather cut him off just as she finished tying up the bandage on the man's head. She reached for the bucket of water to wash her hands quickly. As she wiped them using the hemline of her dress, the young woman sighed. "He _should_ get better. Eventually. I can't, however, predict how long it will take until he improves." 

"He may not remember…" The Chief trailed off unsurely. 

"Memory loss is possible given his injuries," Heather quickly said, avoiding the man's watchful gaze. Hiccup quietly talking nonsense to himself could be heard in the background and the girl winced. She hugged herself shyly, lowering her eyes. "He needs his family now." 

It took a long moment after Heather left for Stoick to raise himself from the chair and cross the room. Hiccup's eyes trailed over his surroundings, looking at everything and focusing on nothing in particular. He somehow managed to spot his father and his face lit up noticeably. 

"D-dad…" Hiccup's voice was hoarse, cracking with each syllable. There was something so utterly _wrong_ with the way he looked at him. Stoick felt his eyes sting and his lip trembled dangerously at the sight of his son. His meaty hand reached shakily for his beloved helmet, his only tie to dear Val except for the pendant, and placed it gently on the bedside. Hiccup was thinner than ever before, looking more dead than alive. His warm smile couldn't distract from his ashy skin and dull, lifeless eyes. It was bad, Stoick knew that. 

_Viking didn't cry…_

 _Then I ain't a Viking,_ he thought to himself as he felt a lone tear roll down his cheek. 

"Why are you crying?" Despite the rough voice, Hiccup kept smiling. Stoick found the gesture very unsettling, a cold feeling passing through his whole body. 

"Me son…" he started, but didn't know what else to say. Stoick kneeled before the bed, grasping one of Hiccup's too-thin hands into his bigger one. Hiccup was freezing to touch and a shiver traveled down Stoick's back. It wasn't normal, it wasn't _fine_. He rubbed his hand against Hiccup's to warm it up and leaned his forehead against the covers, falling silent. 

"Have you seen Astrid today?" Stoick's heart stopped at those words. He pulled back to see his son's face. Hiccup was still smiling in the most innocent way possible, expecting a positive answers. But how could Stoick tell him… tell him… He would break his heart. 

"No, 'iccup," He answered slowly, weighing his every word. After a moment of silence, he decided to tell him the truth. Perhaps it would hurt him less… perhaps it would give him more time to cope… And Stoick would by his side to help him grieve, he promised himself that. "Astrid… Astrid passed away two days ago, son." 

Hiccup laughed. It was disturbing. 

"No, she didn't." His son wriggled his hand free from Stoick's grasp with a chuckle. "She was here earlier. Apparently Stormfly found herself a mate." 

"That's… that's impossible. Son, I-" _I saw her body burned yesterday._ Hiccup looked as though he hadn't heard a word Stoick said. His son's behavior scared him more than any of the dragons he faced in his long and eventful life. Drago and his army were nothing compared to that. 

"Do you think she'll have babies this year?" Hiccup continued, his gaze absent. 

"B-babies?" Stoick blurted out. 

"Yes. Stormfly." Hiccup cocked his head in confusion, not understand his father's strange behavior. Shrugging it off, he continued. "Maybe she'll have some on Snoggletog." 

He couldn't take it anymore. Stoick stood up quickly, almost knocking off the bucket with water Heather used earlier. His hand blindly searched for his helmet. Hiccup's smile fell as he observed his father struggle, a look of hurt crossing his face. The Chief's eyes kept flickering from Hiccup to the wall, in a desperate attempt to calm himself down. 

"You're acting… weird." Hiccup said carefully, observing his father from the corner of his eye. Stoick wanted to laugh. Or cry. Perhaps both. 

Stoick always had trouble when talking to Hiccup. He was such… such an intelligent and eccentric individual – the Chief of Berk could never figure him out. Just as he began to understand his son a little, Hiccup went and surprised everyone yet again. He and his son were, when it came to their minds and ideals, miles away. Now the abyss between them was simply impossible to cross. 

He needed some fresh air. 

Swaying to the sides, Stoick crossed the distance between Hiccup's bed and the door. As he was about to leave, guilt gripped his heart. 

"Dad?" Hiccup's abnormally small voice caught him by surprise, but he didn't dare to turn around. "Where are you going?" 

"I, uh," Stoick closed his eyes with a sigh. "I need tah leave fer a moment. I'll be right back." 

"Oh, okay." His son's voice turned much lighter in a matter of seconds. Stoick could almost see the smile that was surely back on Hiccup's face, as if nothing happened, nothing was wrong. "Can you tell Astrid to come, then? I have an idea for Toothless's saddle." 

Stoick let out a strained noise as he stumbled out of the room. He shut the door loudly, making the healers and the patients in the hall turn to look at him. He ignored the looks of pity and sympathetic smiles, feeling the need to get some fresh air as soon as possible. 

His legs shook as he stepped outside, narrowly avoiding a collision with one of the healers. He welcomed the biting cold and fresh snow that begun to stick to his hair, clothes and face. Stoick's embarrassingly shaky hand went to fix the helmet that started to slip from his head. He hadn't felt that terrified since Valka presumably died. 

This wasn't _his_ Hiccup any more. 

**A/N:**

This is something that I've written a while ago as an answer for an ask on Tumblr. Originally I wasn't planning on posting it here, but, considering the horrendous gap between chapters, I wanted to post something and give you an update on where the things stand. 

I've already said it in the Author's Note in "Care", so feel free to skip it if you have already read it there. 

**"Inner Struggles"** & **"Struggles of the Past, Present and Future"** have taken a backseat lately, as you have probably already noticed and that is because I am in the process of rewriting the main story. Rereading it now, I can see some things that I don't like and am not satisfied with. I feel I have a better understanding of the characters and the movie itself than I had then and that the rookie mistakes that have been made need to be fixed. That is obviously connected with lack of updates on the sequel/companion of the main story. I'm doing this so I can improve. 

I can't say how grateful I am for all the positive feedback both with this story and "Inner Struggles". If you have _any_ questions, don't hesitate to ask – either here or on my Tumblr page ( **slavicviking** ) – I don't bite. ;) 

**Guest reviews:**

 **Guest** : _Thank you so much! The relationship between Hiccup and Stoick is something that could still improve, but they are definitely on the right track. :D_

I sincerely apologize if I didn't answer your review – I try my best, but sometimes it's hard for me to manage, especially with the huge gap in updates. 

**Thank you for reading!**

 **Till next time!**

 **~InsertACreativeNameHere**


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